“Dear Me” from Amanda

The NAGC sent out a call for letters from those who experienced childhood breavement. The letters were to be written to their younger self and hopefully show today’s grieving children and teens that there is a brighter future ahead.

The following letter was written by Amanda.


Dear Me,

I can still remember the day Dad died. I remember the chilly October afternoon, the quietness that surrounded me. I remember feeling like I was in a fog for the next few weeks. I remember thinking nothing was ever going to be the same and feeling like that meant good. And while things were never the same as they were before Dad died, things did become good again.

I have realized that grief never goes away. It just changes. I will always miss Dad. There have been times that I longed for his advice, like when I got married, or when I became a parent. Becoming a parent is how I have truly accepted my grief. I share stories of Dad with my girls and I see some of him in them. That is how I know he lives on.

After a while you will be able to talk about him and look at pictures of him without feeling sad. You will remember him with joy and feel grateful to have known him. You will still have German chocolate cake on his birthday and get a little sad every October.

But remember he wants you to live and be happy, so go to the party. Fight to make your dreams come true. It’s ok to smile and enjoy life after he dies. That is what he wants from you. Try out for the school play, join dance team and smile, go away to college, your siblings will be ok. Listen to happy music again.

It is ok, you are loved.