“Dear Me” to 10-year-old Bonnie

The NACG sent out a call for letters from those who experienced childhood bereavement. The letters were to be written to their younger self and hopefully show today’s grieving children and teens that there is a brighter future ahead.

The following letter came to us from Bonnie Luna.

Dear 10-year-old me,

I know you just lost your whole world but all I can say is, you and your siblings will be alright, I promise. You are so strong and you will get through Moms death with the help of counseling, dance, faith, family, friends, & prayer!

Grief is now the center of your whole life, and it will shape you to be the grown up you needed when you were 10. I can’t tell you that the hurt and pain you’re feeling deep inside ever goes away but I can tell you, it gets easier.

You’ll get scared because as each year passes you’ll start forgetting her laugh, her smell, and her smile, but that’s okay because you’ll NEVER forget the way she spread love and kindness like it was fairy dust.

And you too, will try your best to spread love and kindness. I know you’re trying your best to be mature & not break down for your younger siblings but stop, you’re only 10! Allow yourself to be a kid, you don’t have to keep it all together! It is not your job to be a mom now, no 10-year-old is ready for that kind of responsibility.

You’ll get older and miss her at every huge milestone, but she’s there. You’ll feel her kind soul every minute. She’ll plant so many wonderful people in your life you never knew you needed. She’ll be there for your graduations, she’ll be there for your small wins, & she’ll even be there for the wedding you’re now planning. She’ll be there, trust me.

Her memory will never leave, you’ll see bits of Her in yourself and a lot in your siblings. You’ll be in your early 20s and finally be able to talk about her without sadness, but with joy! You’ll still get together for her birthday every October and laugh about the cherished memories you have.

Lastly, remember she’d want you to be so incredibly happy. So do those things that fill your soul! Never stop working with kids – they bring you more joy than you’ll be able to fathom. Go on those trips, leave the nest( your siblings will be just fine without you) Have the big wedding, it’s okay to smile and celebrate happiness after her. And stop worrying SO much about you’re siblings, they have the same incredible guardian angel you do, they’ll be alright.